Friday 17 June 2011
Swimming about....
Been full of cold the last week or so and so have not really had the energy to do much, but what has been happening is that ideas have been swimming around in my head about where to go from the first initial pages I wrote a few weeks back. And I like them. And they make a lot of sense. So it does sometimes pay to simply leave a piece for a while. Only trouble is, I have the dentist this morning as I have lost a part of my tooth. This could mean it may be a while before I get chance to do anything with these new ideas. Fingers crossed.....
Monday 6 June 2011
Regrets Of The Dying
Someone sent me this link last week www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html - the website of Bronnie Ware. I think it gives us all something to think about.
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. When you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order, but it is not money or status that holds true importance. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. When you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order, but it is not money or status that holds true importance. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
Sunday 5 June 2011
The 4 Lists Poem
Here is my attempt at a poem based on the workshop we did with Joel last Saturday:
White coats. Waved goodbye.
As my bed pulled out from Platform Three.
Tired eyes failed to focus on the five a day.
Hands on the station clock were a blur.
And they ticked too loud to hear the microwave.
My escape from excess. My blood drained away.
As white as the fluorescent lights against the leeches.
My sleeping subconscious refused to eat all its greens.
Worried about the dream interpretation.
Perhaps it was the anaesthetic.
How did it come to this in the age of steam?
Performing surgery on the sweet and sore.
I began to fall. Down towards the yellow custard.
Being greedy. A needle got stuck in my bleached white teeth.
I waited for the nurse to bring my fork.
Small cuts were a recipe for disaster.
I spotted a lone doctor with a plate.
‘An improbability’ someone screamed.
I awoke to the sound of the station tannoy.
‘Tickets please.’
White coats. Waved goodbye.
As my bed pulled out from Platform Three.
Tired eyes failed to focus on the five a day.
Hands on the station clock were a blur.
And they ticked too loud to hear the microwave.
My escape from excess. My blood drained away.
As white as the fluorescent lights against the leeches.
My sleeping subconscious refused to eat all its greens.
Worried about the dream interpretation.
Perhaps it was the anaesthetic.
How did it come to this in the age of steam?
Performing surgery on the sweet and sore.
I began to fall. Down towards the yellow custard.
Being greedy. A needle got stuck in my bleached white teeth.
I waited for the nurse to bring my fork.
Small cuts were a recipe for disaster.
I spotted a lone doctor with a plate.
‘An improbability’ someone screamed.
I awoke to the sound of the station tannoy.
‘Tickets please.’
Thursday 2 June 2011
50 Word Exercise
The smell of my suitcase is making me cry.
I stare at the road in front. My hands wet on the steering wheel. The gearstick stuck in fifth. My mind spinning. I cannot afford to be distracted by emotions. I did what I had to do and now it’s over. Finally it’s all over. I allow myself a smile.
I stare at the road in front. My hands wet on the steering wheel. The gearstick stuck in fifth. My mind spinning. I cannot afford to be distracted by emotions. I did what I had to do and now it’s over. Finally it’s all over. I allow myself a smile.
Wednesday 1 June 2011
Lincoln Hay Day
On Saturday I attended a couple of workshops at The Collection, Lincoln www.thecollectionlincoln.org/ run as part of the Lincoln Hay Day; a 12 hour festival of words.
In the morning Michael Blackburn; poet and writer, and lecturer at Lincoln University (www.artzero.org.uk/ and http://michaelblackburn.posterous.com/ ) ran a workshop entitled 'Creative Writing and the Internet'. It was a refreshing change to be part of a writing workshop where the males outnumbered the females! Michael's workshop was split into two parts. Firstly a creative writing exercise to get us all thinking about the process of writing, and then a tour of the Internet.
For the exercise, we all discussed the line; The Smell Of My Suitcase Is Making Me Cry; what the line made us feel, and what it could mean. We all attempted to write exactly 50 words following on from that first line. This highlighted the need to keep language simple.
If nothing more, the morning started the cogs moving again and I also managed a bit of 'networking'. Following on from the day I have started to think seriously about the direction of my blog....
In the afternoon the Lincolnshire Poet Laureate; Joel Stickley (http://www.joelstickley.com/ and see( http://thelincolnite.co.uk/2011/04/lincolnshire’s-first-poet-laureate-is-named/ ) ran a poetry workshop. Poetry - we learnt - is essentially playing a game with language and rhythm.
In an attempt to produce ideas for a poem, the group agreed 4 very different headings and then produced a list of related words under each. Our 4 words were; Railways, Food, NHS and Dreams. Each attendee then attempted a poem based on the lists. After being moved out of our original room we ended up in a little theatre I had no idea existed - The Collection has some great resources - and this led to an impromptu 'Open Mic' without the mic! What we heard was all of a high standard. I only wish mine had been somewhere near finished!
In the morning Michael Blackburn; poet and writer, and lecturer at Lincoln University (www.artzero.org.uk/ and http://michaelblackburn.posterous.com/ ) ran a workshop entitled 'Creative Writing and the Internet'. It was a refreshing change to be part of a writing workshop where the males outnumbered the females! Michael's workshop was split into two parts. Firstly a creative writing exercise to get us all thinking about the process of writing, and then a tour of the Internet.
For the exercise, we all discussed the line; The Smell Of My Suitcase Is Making Me Cry; what the line made us feel, and what it could mean. We all attempted to write exactly 50 words following on from that first line. This highlighted the need to keep language simple.
If nothing more, the morning started the cogs moving again and I also managed a bit of 'networking'. Following on from the day I have started to think seriously about the direction of my blog....
In the afternoon the Lincolnshire Poet Laureate; Joel Stickley (http://www.joelstickley.com/ and see( http://thelincolnite.co.uk/2011/04/lincolnshire’s-first-poet-laureate-is-named/ ) ran a poetry workshop. Poetry - we learnt - is essentially playing a game with language and rhythm.
In an attempt to produce ideas for a poem, the group agreed 4 very different headings and then produced a list of related words under each. Our 4 words were; Railways, Food, NHS and Dreams. Each attendee then attempted a poem based on the lists. After being moved out of our original room we ended up in a little theatre I had no idea existed - The Collection has some great resources - and this led to an impromptu 'Open Mic' without the mic! What we heard was all of a high standard. I only wish mine had been somewhere near finished!
A fantastic day which left me with a pounding head but loads of ideas...
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