Avoiding the Fraud Squad

Am pinching another of Jurgen Wolff's emails as - once again - he is spot on...

Some people (me included!) are afraid that anytime now, others will realize that they have been faking it. One of the ways of making sure that your supposed incompetence will not be exposed is not to finish what you start (or never to start it in the firstplace). The truth that can save you from the stress of the fear of the Fraud Squad is not that you're actually a nearly -perfect person... it's that we are all imperfect.

Another way to prove it: ask your friends when they started feeling like a responsible adult. My guess is that most of them will say"I'm still waiting." So, we're all in the same boat, and nobody's going to be exposed. The Universal Fraud Squad is a figment of our imaginations and nothing to worry about. We're all going to muddle along the best we can, making mistakes sometimes. It's called life.

When you fullyaccept that, you can stop procrastinating and get on with doing your (imperfect) thing.

Another Competition Entry?

Forgot to mention I entered a 300 word story as part of the Theakston Crime Festival via the Lincolnshire Echo. I liked the prize - a copy of the 20 crime novels shortlisted for the Peculier prize. We were given the first paragraph and told to finish the story. Here is my attempt:

Next to the body lay a bottle of Theakston’s Old Peculier and an upturned book; it was a crime novel and the already lurid jacket was spattered with real blood……

The Inspector scratched his bald head. The candles that illuminated the library danced in the moist reflection. He could have done without this. His wife was attending a literary dinner and he had promised to accompany her. She would be less than happy and probably withhold her wifely delights; which would be a shame as her cooking was legendary.

Also legendary was the bottle. With a gloved hand the Inspector tenderly reached out. Holding it up he could see no fingerprints, but the dark, smooth liquid held his gaze. Turning the bottle the luxurious liquid stirred: teasing him in the flickering shadows. He hardly noticed the clump of red hair around its base.

As for the book and the body, the Inspector knew both. It had been in all the papers. A debut detective novel based in a brewery in the Yorkshire Dales. He could see where the life had left the author. The depression in the skull and the sticky mess that congealed across the face underlined the head wound for all to see. The Inspector felt his mobile vibrate. Where are You? Michael O’Cultt cancelled. I’ll be home in 20 minutes. This was clearly a suicide, the Inspector concluded.

Twenty minutes later he was at home with a glass of something dark and agreeable. The body of the ‘promising’ author was at the morgue waiting to be collected by the publishers. Another wannabe whose life burnt out too soon. The Inspector smiled and lifted his glass. ‘Cheers’ he said out loud. Silently giving thanks to the fuggle hop. This smooth tasting nectar would never fall into obscurity.

10 Word Crime Story

Today I entered the Theakston Crime Writing Festival 10 word story, see: www.harrogate-festival.org.uk/crime/10wordstory.html My entry is:

The second deceit
Cheating husband slips up. Accidental says Inquest. Widow escapes. Innocent.

It might not win but I am off to the Theakston Brewery at the weekend anyway!!

All that hot air!!

I am beginning to wonder if I will ever really finish writing a book? (I have started 3 in total!) I had all that time off and not a lot to show for it and now I don't even seem bothered about writing this week. Up until now I have worried I am not writing at least a couple of times a day. Perhaps it is because I have other things in my life now that are (more?) important; such as my Teaching Assistant course and training. This has certainly proved that I can write every day - I just sit down and write - about my course and my experience in the classroom. What is the difference between this and my novel? Well, there is a deadline with the course work and the threat of failure if I don't complete the weekly work. Of course with my writing - not having a contract - means there isn't this pressure pushing me forward!! And now that I have the Teaching to focus on I am afraid my writing does not have the seriousness about it that I have attached to it over the last few months. But....this could be a good thing so watch this space!!

Enough Said!

This morning received the Newbie Writers' Newsletter June 2008 www.newbie-writers.com
I liked the article; Feature: Writing Pitfall #1: Being Too Precious By Sean McLachlan and especially the first line; Let's face it--you're not the next Ernest Hemingway or Stephen King. Heck, when they started, Hemingway and King weren't the next Hemingway and King. Enough said!

Structured Procrastination

Came across this website via The Times last Saturday: www.structuredprocrastination.com/
I particularly like it when John Perry says: the procrastinator can be motivated to do difficult, timely and important tasks, as long as these tasks are a way of not doing something more important.

The Shortlist

The Crime Writers’ Association has announced the shortlist for the 2008 Debut Dagger Competition.......and I'm not on it!!

What next then? Do I scrap the novel I started and have a re-think or do I plod on with it. (Answers on a postcard please....) Perhaps that is why I have ignored it lately - its 'plodding' along instead of flowing.....

Time for a serious think......