Ann Cleeves - 19th October 2016

This was an event organised by the Lincoln WI to celebrate the 7th book in the Shetland series (Cold Earth) and Anne's 30th book in 30 years.  She was very entertaining and spoke for nearly an hour about Shetland and its people and her life as a writer.

She feels she has been very lucky in her writing life.  From accepting a job in the Shetland Islands as an assistant cook, to the ultimate 'luck' when someone picked up a copy of a 'Vera' book in a charity shop to take on their holidays; which the lady enjoyed so much.....the rest is history.

What she did say about writing is that she started off writing her first novel in long hand.  She did have a lot of time as she was living on an island with only her husband for company.  Now she says, she gets up at 5am in the morning and finds she gets a lot of writing done between 5 and 9.30am when her husband gets up.....

I decided to buy a copy of one of her Vera novels, which she was kind enough to sign.  I reminded her (she had no recollection) that we had met before at a writing workshop, many years ago, that she had led in Lincoln Castle Prison.  This was before the Shetland and Vera books, and before she was famous!  I enjoyed that workshop and I enjoyed this evenings talk.

Sleep Well Ducky Bod.....

Yesterday we said Goodbye to my dad's sister - Auntie Marie.

I was asked to read a poem at the service and here it is:

Missed in the morning of every day
Missed in the evening as lights fade away
Missed in a thousand and one little ways
Around every corner a memory stays

We miss your smile, your joking ways
We miss the things you used to say
And when old times we do recall
Its then we miss you most of all

You gave us years of happiness
The sorrow came with tears
You left us lovely memories
We will treasure through the years.

(Author unknown)

Feel Good....

I knew the kind of books I loved myself, which perhaps aren't considered great literature, but are great stories, with strong characters and smart observations.  You might not stop and gasp over every sentence, but these books get put in lots of beach bags, and taken on lots of aeroplanes, and read in lots of hospitals: they keep people company and they make them feel good.

Jennifer Weiner  www.jenniferweiner.com/

Picking up Rhythm

When you feel the story is beginning to pick up rhythm - the characters are shaping up, you can see them, you can hear their voices, and they do things that you haven't planned, things you couldn't have imagined - then you know the book is somewhere, and you just have to find it, and bring it, word by word, into this world.  

Isabel Allende  www.isabelallende.com/

Take The First Step

For many people, taking that first step is the most difficult aspect of any creative task.  It's a declaration of intent and also an act of faith, since all too often we start a project without really knowing where to start or - worryingly - where, how or when it will end.

Sometimes too, getting started can feel like the end of a lovely period of free and endless thinking.  Giving shape and form to your ideas can feel like you're killing them a little, selling them short - or limiting them in some way that feels uncomfortable.

From: Start anywhere, start now, in Unleash Your Creativity: Secrets of Creative Genius, by Rob Bevan and Tim Wright published by The Infinite Ideas Company Limited www.infideas.com (2005)

Back to Work....

After what has been an age (88 working days apparently) I have gone back to work.  Initially doing half days and then hopefully back to my usual 25 hours after the Bank Holiday.  I am not sure that I am really ready.  I am not sure that I ever will be.  However, I know I need to get back for my sanity if nothing else.  Oh, and the money will come in handy!!

Advice from Anne Rice on Writing

On writing, my advice is the same to all.  If you want to be a writer, write.  Write and write and write.  If you stop, start again. Save everything that you write.  If you feel blocked, write through it until you feel your creative juices flowing again.  Write. Writing is what makes a writer, nothing more and nothing less.

http://annerice.com/

There is a Muse.....

There is a muse, but he's not going to come fluttering down into your writing room and scatter creative fairy-dust all over your typewriter or computer station.  He lives in the ground.  He's a basement guy.  You have to descend to his level, and once you get down there you have to furnish an apartment for him to live in.  You have to do all the grunt labour, in other words, while the muse sits and smokes cigars and admires his bowling trophies and pretends to ignore you.

Stephen King in On Writing, A Memoir of the Craft
http://stephenking.com/

Bleed....

It is only when you open your veins and bleed onto the page a little that you establish contact with your readers.  If you do not believe in the characters or the story you are doing at that moment with all your mind, strength, and will, if you don't feel joy and excitement while writing it, then you're wasting good white paper, even if it sells, because there are other ways in which a writer can bring in the rent money besides writing bad or phony stories.

Paul Gallico
http://www.paulgallico.info/

Don't Let Anything Dull Your Sparkle: Doreen Virtue

The book is a self-help book; dealing with the issue of Stress in our lives, and talks about how many 'traumas' or life events; such as deaths, birth, job problems etc, lead to emotional feelings of loss of safety and unpredictability.  This leads us to be hyper vigilant which causes stress.  Of course the main focus of the book is the need for us to Relax.

In relation to writing and creativity, I find the notion of having a 'Drama Detox' very interesting.  One of the items that is listed under detoxing is Procrastinating and getting behind schedule. But other items include cutting out stressful TV, stressful friends, overspending, bad foods and (self imposed?) time pressures.  For someone who has struggled with OCD in the past, (myself), Doreen discusses this as a desire to run away from fear and pain.  I think this is linked to Procrastination in a big way.  Therefore, we need to face our emotions in order to remove the need for procrastination or OCD.

So, pay attention to your internal signals.  Don't immediately react. You can have control over your reaction to stress. 

Take steps to restore your inner glow.  Have a best friend relationship with yourself.  Take care of yourself and don't push yourself too far.  Spend your time in meaningful ways and Have Fun!

She goes on to give us a list of 'Healthful behaviours'.  This list includes artistic and creative endeavours, as well as more obvious relaxation such as massage, relaxing music and deep breathing.   She also emphasises the need for you to do what your soul calls you to do!

She also touches on the subject of 'Approval Seeking'.  In relation to writing, you are the one who can give yourself that approval.  You ARE good enough!   As for other people, we can't control other people actions, only our reactions to them.  Don't take things personally as any criticism is a reflection on them, not you!  Be assertive, calm and mature.  Remind yourself often of your accomplishments and who you are as a person.  No one can take that away from you!

Perfection

If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word

Margaret Atwood  http://margaretatwood.ca/

Be Like The Fox

Be like the fox who makes more tracks than necessary, some in the wrong direction.

Wendell Berry; Farmer and Writer   See: www.wendellberrybooks.com/

Quoted in: Unleash Your Creativity: Secrets of Creative Genius, by Rob Bevan and Tim Wright published by The Infinite Ideas Company Limited www.infideas.com (2005)

Beyond Black : Hilary Mantel

Struggling this week.  I know its only a few days post operation, but its awful being unable to do much at all.  So what is left? To forget about the untidy house and piles of 'must do' papers, and sit (or lay) down and give time over to a book.  I have had Beyond Black (2010) for a number of years. Not sure from where it came from or why, but I finally settled down to read it and was amazed at how it kept me from thinking of the dirt and papers piling up!
                                      
The Blurb: Alison Hart is a medium by trade: dead people talk to her, and she talks back. With her flat-eyed, flint-hearted sidekick, Colette, she tours the dormitory towns of London's orbital road, passing on messages from dead ancestors: 'Granny says she likes your new kitchen units.'  Alison's ability to communicate with spirits is a torment rather than a gift. Behind her plump, smiling and bland public persona is a desperate woman. She knows that the next life holds terrors that she must conceal from her clients. Her days and nights are haunted by the men she knew in her childhood, the thugs and petty criminals who preyed upon her hopeless, addled mother, Emmie. They infiltrate her house, her body and her soul; the more she tries to be rid of them, the stronger and nastier they become.

This tenth novel by Hilary Mantel, the critically acclaimed author of Giving Up the Ghost, is a witty and deeply sinister story of dark secrets and dark forces, set in an England that jumps at its own shadow, a country whose banal self-absorption is shot through by fear of the engulfing dark.

I couldn't have said it better myself!  If you have any interest in mediumship or hauntings you will love this book - especially if you have a dark sense of humour!

What Did I Have Done - Operation(s) - Lumbar Discetomy for Lumbar Disc Prolapse

The operation I had both times was a Lumbar Discetomy for Lumbar Disc Prolapse.

A Lumbar Disc Prolapse is usually confirmed by an MRI.  My consultant at Sheffield commented that mine was 'very impressive'.   He didn't mean this in a good way!

Each vertebral bone is separated by a inter-vertebral disc.  This disc acts like a pressure cushion.  It consists of a fibrous outside (annulus fibrosis) and a soft inside (nucleus pulposus). A lumbar disc prolapse (disc herniation / slipped disc) is where some of the central soft disc material has been pushed backwards through a weak area or tear in the outside fibrous part of the disc.  When this material touches or presses against one of the nerves (nerve roots) in the spine, pain down the leg (sciatica) results.

The majority of disc prolapses occur where there is already some weakening of the fibrous outside of the disc that is associated with wear and tear / degenerative changes in the spine. 

The main reason for offering surgery is to relieve severe radiating leg pain (sciatica).  Surgery does not benefit lower back pain. Surgery only takes the pressure off the compressed nerve root.

The operation is done under general anaesthetic and takes about an hour. The surgery is usually done through a cut about 5cm in length on your lower back.  After going between the muscles in your back, a small window, about 1cm in diameter is made into the spinal canal.  The offending disc material is removed as well as some adjacent disc material within the disc space.

A Lumbar Mictodiscectomy does not prevent the possibility of a future disc prolapse as not all the disc is removed due to increased risks of surgery. (injury to the abdominal blood vessels lying on the front of the spine).

Risks include deep venous thrombosis / pulmonary embolus (clot in leg/lung); hence the need to wear surgical stockings during the operation and for a time after the operation.    I was given a whole list of 'risks' to read about prior to surgery, but as I could not walk and was in a lot of pain, I felt the risks weren't significant enough to stop me having the operation!

Once home, I was advised to attend my GP surgery for removal of my staples at 10 days.  For the first 2 weeks following surgery, sitting should be minimised to essentials; such as toilet and eating.  Driving is considered inadvisable in the early weeks, even as a passenger.  However, exercise should be maintained, in particular walking.  Although not too much and watch your posture!!

'Discomfort' following surgery is common.  There are a variety of pain killers that can be taken.  Taking painkillers is preferable to letting any discomfort get bad and then having to control it, which will be more difficult.

If you are overweight (I am now!) you should consider losing weight as this will reduce the chances of spine wear and tear related problems I the future, including disc prolapse.

You will require 6 weeks off work (at least!).

Operation Number 2

All was going well.  I managed to go to my mums for Christmas Day and attend the Post Christmas party I had organised for the children.  Then I started walking.....  The first time I went out (17 days post op) I cried all the way back and did 0.71 miles in 22 minutes.  On New Years Day I managed 2.24 miles in 30mins.

Then over the weekend, I put the Christmas decorations away.  I went into the loft, and perhaps I should not have....as on the 6th January 2016 (Wednesday) I attended my GP with severe pain down my leg (again).  I asked if she could re-refer me to the Lincoln LCATS to be seen, but she said that as I was still under Sheffield I would have to see them!  She did give me some Tramadol for the pain though. On the Thursday I realised that actually I had lost all sensation in my foot.  I could not move it at all. I began to panic....

Luckily, on the Friday I had an appointment with the Physio at the LCATS service.  She took one look at my leg and called in the Consultant who confirmed I had 'Drop Foot'.  He was very concerned and ran Sheffield to try and speak to my consultant there.  Unfortunately, he had finished for the day/week.  The consultant told me to go to A&E.  We waited 3 hours in A&E to be told to just 'wait and see'...... 

Consequently, I rang Sheffield on Monday morning (Jan 11th).  They were able to bring my appointment forward 4 days and I was seen that evening.  Mr Zaki took one look and then sent me off for an MRI.  This time it was a full size MRI (not a mobile one) and so it was legs first and a lot less claustrophobic!  The MRI showed a small recurrent sided L4/5 disc prolapse.  In his letter to my GP he was rather scathing of Lincoln A&E!  His letter goes on to say My biggest issue here is that there has already been a 3/4 day delay and the chances of recovery of her footdrop are becoming slimmer......I am just worried that her footdrop is not going to recover but I will make sure that she has her surgery expedited in the next 2/3 days.....I will list her for a recurrent left L4/5 discectomy. 

Operation Number 2 was 14th January 2016.  This time I was lucky enough to have a single room.  We assumed that I would be allowed to go home about the same time as the last operation; which was just before lunch.  However, I was given antibiotics via a cannula in my arm and told I would be having three lots - the last one at 10pm.  From then on, I told anyone who would listen that IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

The Physiotherapist was really good.  As my foot drop still seemed quite bad, she brought me not only a splint for my leg, but also a picker upper - so I can't say I didn't get any presents!  I know she asked someone about my antibiotics and when Mr Zaki's registar came, I asked him as well.  He said he would have a word with Mr Zaki.  It seemed they had only prescribed the antibiotics as it was my second operation in 4 weeks. 

There were tears.... That seemed to do the trick.  Mr Zaki arrived.  He seemed happy with the movement in my leg / foot and was happy to let me go.  He even wished me a Happy Birthday!